


Soulmate, Shmolmate?

by donutsweeper



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fade to Black, Missing Scene, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-04 10:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12769410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutsweeper/pseuds/donutsweeper
Summary: Okay, minor problem, Eleanor was in the Good Place by mistake. That she could deal with. The fact she a) had a soulmate and b) her soulmate was drop dead gorgeous? That was going to be a little harder to get used to.





	Soulmate, Shmolmate?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [orangesandlemons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangesandlemons/gifts).



> Thanks to angelsaves for the beta!

"And this is your soulmate, Tahani," Bowtie Guy announced.

"Tahani?" Eleanor's mind did a complete one-eighty from her internal freakout over discovering the fact that she was obviously in the Good Place due to some kind of _epic_ mistake to stuttering to a completely shocked stop over this newest surprise. "Holy shirt! Holy shirt? Shirt? Why can't I say shirt?"

"Ah, yes," her soulmate (she had a soulmate! Who was a woman!! And was drop dead gorgeous!!!) began to explain while still posing like some kind of supermodel in the doorway, "Apparently we can't curse here in the Good Place. Anytime we try the words are simply replaced as we speak them. Isn't that clever?"

Eleanor decided it was easier to focus on the swearing thing rather then the whole 'Soulmate Who Was A Woman And Was Sexy As Hell' thing or the 'There's Been a Screw Up and She Didn't Belong Here' thing. "No way, man! Shut the fork up! Fork? This is ridiculous."

"Well, it looks like you and Tahani are going to get along swimmingly." The dude clapped his hands together, looking stupidly pleased with himself about everything. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other people to attend to, so I think I'll leave so the two of you can get better acquainted."

"No, wait, introduction guy! Um…." What was his name? She was pretty sure he'd given it when he introduced himself but that was ages ago and she hadn't really been paying attention. Not that it would have made a difference since he ignored her and swept right past Miss Tall and Perfect without turning around.

Well, shit. Huh, at least she could still curse to herself? So, they monitored what she said but not what she thought? That was one hell of a relief, she supposed. Not that any of that mattered because she was wearing a stupid, frumpy checkered shirt and a pair of jeans (and not even her good jeans, the ones that clung in all the right places and showed off her ass, but her old, worn out ones) while her soulmate was standing there looking completely and utterly amazing in a flowing white dress with perfect boobs and shiny hair and when the hell did she start thinking about boobs and hair?

"I take it discovering you have a female soulmate is as much of a surprise to you as it is to me?" Gorgeous soulmate babe- Shit, what was her name? Tahini? No, that was that food thing….Tahiti? No, that was an island somewhere.... Tahani! That was it, Tahani!- swept into the room because anyone who was six feet tall and had legs to die for couldn't just walk anywhere, they had to be dramatic about it. 

"Yeah, man, I don't know, I was always into guys when I was alive. I mean, okay, there was what happened that day I got locked in the supply closet with Candy, but I always assumed that was a onetime thing due to the fumes. Anyone in a similar situation would have found themselves stripping down and going all hot and heavy when they were under the influence. Of the cleaning supplies, I mean. From the closet. Where we were. And I'm going to shut up now."

"I suppose I did have a similar circumstance, if you could call it that, when I found myself snogging my good friend, Ellen Page. It was at a fundraiser for our mutual friend Elton John's charity, one that, of course, was near and dear to both our hearts. The two of us had imbibed a not insignificant amount of champagne earlier and, as they say, one thing led to another and, well, you know how it goes. Come to think of it, she was such a tiny, absolutely adorable little slip of a thing. Not unlike you!" She leaned over and tapped Eleanor on the nose. "Boop!"

"Oh! You booped me." Which was the only thing she could think to say in response to that because, what the hell, who booped someone like that?

"I did!" Tahani laughed then and all of the righteous anger at being booped that Eleanor had been building up just evaporated because wow, that laugh did _things_ to her. 

"Right, um, so, why don't we sit?" Eleanor suggested, stepping over to the couch quickly in hopes of breaking the moment that seemed to be building between them.

While Eleanor plunked her butt down (and wow, the couch was uncomfortable, what the hell was it made out of, rocks?) Tahani practically glided over, her dress billowing beautifully behind her in a way that probably defied physics. "So, um, Tahani, right? That's an interesting name."

"Thank you! Tahani means congratulations in Arabic and my last name, Al-Jamil, means beautiful so my full name altogether means…"

Eleanor couldn't help but interrupt, "'Congratulations, Beautiful.'"

"Thanks, Eleanor, you big flirt," Tahani said and Eleanor would normally have thought she was just joking or something and simply brushed it off, but with that smile she gave her and the way she artfully tossed her hair, showing off her neck... Eleanor suddenly wasn't so sure. 

Testing the waters in a way, Eleanor decided that instead of laughing it off or changing the subject she would jump straight in. "That's me, a big ol' flirt." 

Tahani reached out and for a second Eleanor thought she was going to boop her again (and was strongly considering slapping her hand away if she did, not caring it if gave away the fact she didn't really belong in the Good Place) when instead she brushed her thumb across Eleanor's cheek. "Eyelash," she explained, turning her hand to show one of Eleanor's eyelashes on the tip of her thumb. "Make a wish."

"What?"

"When you lose an eyelash you must close your eyes and then make a wish while trying to blow it off your hand. If you succeed your wish will come true, but if you fail, it won't."

"Oh." Well, that sounded kind of dumb, but what the hell, why not? Eleanor closed her eyes."Well, here goes nothing!" She took a deep breath, a million thoughts swirling in her head. Ones like 'I hope Tahani doesn't find out I'm a bigass fraud' and 'I want to stay in the Good Place with my super hot soulmate' before finally settling on 'I really want to kiss Tahani right now' as she blew out.

"You did it!"

Eleanor opened her eyes to find herself only inches from Tahani's face and, before she could talk herself out of it, she leaned in and went for it. She had meant for it to be just a quick peck on the lips and she was ready to pull away in a hurry if it seemed like Tahani was going to punch her for it, but then Tahani's hand was in her hair, pulling her closer. Eleanor couldn't help but think that while whatever formula it was that had messed up to put her in the Good Place, at least it got it right when deciding on her soulmate. Then Tahani moaned and Eleanor stopped thinking completely.


End file.
